Behavior and chores

For quite awhile we've been wrestling with the ideas of the kids doing chores, the concept of how/why to give them money and how to deal with repeat-behavior issues.  One thing I have discouragingly discovered about parenthood is that it has a tendency to expose all of your own personal inconsistencies.  Consistency is the key to getting kids to establish or change behaviors/habits but if Mom/Dad can't remember to remind the little munchkin to do A, B and C each day, it just doesn't happen.
So, I have decided to establish a couple of aids.  I have created a chore chart that is completely visual and child-specific.  At the end of each week, we will discuss how the week went.  We will then hand out a couple of quarters or something like that.  The money is less of a reward and more just to teach them about money.  To learn about it, they have to have some.
The other thing I'm going to create, just as soon as I make it to the store, are a couple of "good choices" jars.  Our older son needs to work on a couple of minor behavior issues (taking toys from his little brother and having accidents because he waits too long to go to the bathroom) and our younger son needs to stop screeching.  I can't tell you how much it drives me insane.  The jars are more to teach about consequences.  They will get to put marbles/bouncy balls/beans/fuzz-balls (I haven't decided which yet) into the jar and if they slip up, an object has to come back out of the jar.  When the jar is full, they will get to choose an ice cream cone, a trip to the dollar store, something like that. 
I have struggled with how to handle chores and money in particular, and also just the general concept of rewards.  I don't want my kids to feel like chores are only worth it if there's money involved.  I would prefer that they are taught that they are part of a family and we all have to contribute to get the jobs done.  If we all work together, then we all benefit.  I'd rather pay for the difficult jobs like landscaping stuff or detailing a car when they get older (as I was using the coin-op vacuum at the car wash today I was wishing I had someone to detail my car).  As for behavior, I just prefer not to bribe for obedience - it creates a blackmail-like situation with the child in power.  I have decided, though, that I am willing to do a little bit of this for the object lessons associated with it.  The chore chart, in particular, also seems like a good way to encourage my older son to increase his independence a bit and to maybe perk my younger son's interest in using the potty.
We shall see how this all goes...
Here are the chore charts I made.  I just searched the web for appropriate images.  I thought about photographing the kids doing these various activities, but I got lazy in the end.  Click on the charts to see them larger.

Busy with tracks

My three-and-a-half-year-old would be content to spend ALL DAY every day just playing with his trains and tracks on our living room floor.  We've had many sick days (and many rainy days) over the past couple of months when I have let him do just that.  Today, though, while he was out on an adventure with his daddy, and the smaller munchkin was napping, I decided to test my skills at using train tracks to create his name.  I am pretty impressed with the results.  He was thrilled!

It got me thinking about my son and what he is interested in and not interested in.  He is mostly content to play with trains and also learn about anything with wheels or anything related to infrastructure or construction.  He could watch informational movies about road building, heavy machinery and most recently - home construction for hours on end.  (The Mighty Machines series is his all-time favorite.)  However, try to get him to sit down and learn about the ABCs and he is completely uninterested.  He recognizes quite a few letters, but it's just not important to him at the moment.  I'm not hugely worried about this, it's actually more of an observation than anything else.  I believe very strongly that young children should be left to play/create/imagine to their heart's content and that letters and numbers will come when they are older.  They have their whole lives to fill their heads with words and numbers but the years full of imagination and wonder are so brief.
Anyway, I was thinking that using the train tracks, I might be able to multitask.  Why not use train tracks to build letter shapes?  Boys tend to like to move more than girls and often have less-developed fine motor skills at this age.  I found when tutoring a little boy many years ago that we had the most success with writing when we wrote huge letters on concrete with sidewalk chalk.  I am curious to see if running trains along letter-shaped train tracks could actually help my son learn letter-writing skills?  This could also be used for shapes, numbers or even patterns.  Obviously connecting all the letters like I did takes a lot of fancy connections - we have a local toy store that sells them individually and so every time we go there, I grab just one more since I'm a mom who loves the toys as much as the kids.  Simple shapes and patterns, though, could be created with fairly standard pieces (circles, ovals, zig-zags, waves).  Big individual letters could also be done without very many non-standard pieces too.  Even drawing big letter train-tracks with markers on butcher paper or freezer paper could provide lots of entertainment.
I am going to further investigate this...I like a track-building challenge.  Would you all hate me to learn that the Nathan track only took me about 20 minutes to create? I think I have a freakish talent for these sorts of things.
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Woohoo!  This idea was featured on OHDEEDOH!  Happy building, everyone!

Bedtime Routine

Our 3-1/2 year old is quite the negotiator.  We have noticed that his bedtime routine has gotten longer and longer, and that each night he is sure we are forgetting something that is very crucial to his night time happiness.  It is also very important to him that things be done in a certain order.
So, to rein things in, and have his buy-in, I decided we would make a little picture-bedtime-chart.  It shows everything that is supposed to happen before he goes to bed (each step in its proper order) so that we are more or less bound by contract.  Hopefully this way we will not have to jump through all sorts of extra imaginative hoops for the sake of his daily whims.  I am planning to have it printed larger than our standard paper-sized printer will allow and then have it laminated.  I also think it will be useful for those rare times when we are not home to put our son to bed.  This way he can't accuse his grandparents of doing it wrong, as he always does.

I also happen to know a few physical/occupational/speech therapists who work with children who have developmental delays.  They all stress that sequencing is a very important skill for children to learn to help them navigate life.  A picture chart could help children learn simple concepts like the steps necessary to wash hands, get dressed or tie shoes.  Picture charts could also be used to illustrate house or school rules, acceptable foods for meals/snacks and the list goes on and on.  My son had a great time helping me make this chart by posing for all of the pictures.  He seems to really understand bedtime much better, and accept it much easier, now that he is looking at pictures of himself performing the steps with a smile on his face.  I highly recommend this for anyone who has a preschool-aged child with tyrannical tendencies.
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Postscript: I submitted this to ohdeedoh where it was actually published!  I was really excited about that until I got some flack for posting a picture of my son on the toilet to a national website.  I must admit the comment stung.  Here's my deal: I am not one of those paranoid people who believes the world is out to get my family.  Yes, it is true that I have no control over who views a parenting website about design, but it's a parenting website about design!  Come on, people!  I refuse to live in a world where I am subjected to fear about "those" people who *might* be out there.  I did not show any private body parts and all of these pictures are pretend, taken to create a diagram to help him feel better about his nightly routine.  Perhaps I should have substituted that picture for some cartoon when I submitted it.  Honestly, the thought never occurred to me.  So, judge me if you will.  In another day, my post on ohdeedoh will be buried under many, many more posts equally harmless and forgotten just as fast.  I monitor my own websites very closely.  More importantly, I monitor my children very closely.  I wish we lived in a world where we could all be more civil and friendly when we are navigating the anonymous world of the internet.  Too many comment strings end up so negative and sarcastic.
Thanks also to Get Buttoned Up, who also picked up my picture chart!  Overall, I am feeling the love!